Live like you believe

My brother Jim told me a story a few weeks ago that made me very sad and yet inspired.

It's about a young woman from Washington who was murdered in late 1982, a victim of the "Green River Killer".  The serial murderer was caught, after a nearly 20 year killing spree,  and eventually made a plea agreement in Nov 2003, pleading guilty to 49 murders, to avoid the death penalty. As part of the agreement, he faced the family members of his victims as they vented their anger, frustration, and hatred.  This video clip is part 5 of a 5 part series done by A&E. It is a little long, the most important part, the part that touched my heart, is when Mr Rule, father of Linda Rule, spoke to the killer, Mr Ridgway (start at 3:42 and go to 5:09).

 

I have wondered how I would react in Mr Rule's place. Would I show compassion to one who caused me such unbelievable heartache? Would I choose to put my beliefs into practice, under such extreme circumstances, and live like God wants me to live, no matter how difficult it might be? 

Several years ago I was counseled by a member of my Stake Presidency to let go of a grudge I was holding. I felt justified in my ill feelings, this person had been a part of the most emotional pain I had felt in my life. My family had been disrupted and the hurt and anger I felt was deep and bitter. I did follow the advice I received, and was able to eventually forgive. The odd thing is that the person I was angry with probably never even knew; I was the only person being harmed by my holding a grudge. I hope I have grown since then, that I now would be able to forgive more quickly than I did then. I admire Mr Rule for his desire and ability to live like he believes.

And I have been inspired, as you probably have, by the stories and accounts coming from Japan about the kindness and compassion many of the people are showing in the face of such devastation, loss, uncertainty, and lack of life's necessities. 

How would I act if a life-changing natural disaster hit my town? Would I be willing to share the necessities of life for the well-being of others? Would I live the Golden Rule then, when it would have such real consequences? 

I am grateful for these two recent examples of kindness, compassion, and love, no matter the circumstances. I believe hard things are coming for us, that there will be many opportunities for me to live like I believe in difficult times. A favorite scripture verse is encouraging:

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

What makes me stronger

Once in a while I require myself to do something that is difficult. It could be speaking up when I'd rather stay quiet, or going without sugar for a month, or maybe I will read a book that I have to work at, or even invite someone I don't know well over for dinner.
There are not many hills around our house, but the wind blows a lot. When I go jogging I am usually in the cross wind, but for 3 or 4 blocks I 'run' straight into the wind. I feel like one of those cartoon characters whose legs go like crazy but they stay in one place. Then once I turn the corner and the resistance is gone, I feel like I'm going twice as fast as I really am.
Pushing against opposition builds muscles, character and commitment. It shows me what I am capable of, that I can do difficult things.

Things I learned from Carter

I spent January with Dennison and Robin and their family while Carter went through his first round of treatment. It was a bitter-sweet time: I loved being with them, but the situation was hard on my heart.
Having never been around anyone going through chemotherapy, I wasn't sure what to expect. We had more good days than bad days, and some memories are etched in my mind and are very sweet and comforting to recall.

Carter and me the day I left to go home

During those days and weeks I realized that all challenges are opportunities, and all opportunities include challenges; it’s all in how we look at it. Take advantage of challenges, learn something; don’t just get through it, make the most of it; come to know God, gain experience. That’s easy to say, harder to do. So this is an opportunity for me to learn and grow under circumstances not presented to me before. I kept a journal of sorts and am grateful for the insights I had, and that I wrote them down.
Here is my list of what I learned from my sweet little Carter~

 * be brave when you have to do hard things
 * do what you can for/by yourself
 * ask for help when you need it
 * listen to the boss, no one else
 * find happiness in simple things
 * get out when the sun shines
 * let your happiness show
 * know what you want, don’t settle for less

January

This year started much differently than we expected. On 31 Dec. Dave and I started for Robin & Dennison's house after hearing of Carter's diagnosis of leukemia. I decided to stay in Wa until his first round of treatment is over at the end of the month. I will write more about this experience when I get home to my computer. You can follow his progress at cartersmightyfight.blogspot.com, see it on my blog list below as Carter's Story. Thank you for your love, prayers and support.

What I have been reading, part 1

On my recent trip to Robin’s house, I took 4 books with me. Her boys go to bed early and so I spent some time reading each evening, giving Robin and Dennison some quiet time alone.
I read The Book of Mormon every day for at least 15 minutes, so that was one of the books. The others are, Misquoting Jesus by Bart Ehrman, A Grief Observed by CS Lewis, and The Problem of Pain, also by CS Lewis. A day or so before I came home I bought The Goose Girl by Shannon Hale, which I  started on my way home.
Since I love to get recommendations for books, movies, recipes, etc, I will share my impressions and opinions about these books in case you are interested.
Misquoting Jesus; the Story Behind Who Changed the Bible and Why was the first one I read. It’s author, Bard Ehrman, is a well renowned biblical scholar, and an accomplished expert on early Christianity. In the introduction he tells his own story in a very honest and open way, including his journey as a Christian and the reasons why he has become an agnostic. He clearly reveals his conclusions and opinions, some of which I disagree with, and the evidence and reasoning behind them. I found this book very interesting and read it quickly. Here is a summary of his main points taken from the last pages of the book:

* We do not have the original manuscripts of any of the books of the New Testament, but  only copies--over 5000 copies, just in the Greek language in which these books were originally written.
* Most of these copies are centuries removed from the originals.
* All of these copies contain mistakes both great and small, as scribes either inadvertently or intentionally altered the text.
* The vast majority of these changes are insignificant, immaterial, and of no importance for the meaning of the passages in which they are found.
* Others, however, are quite significant. Sometimes the meaning of a verse, a passage, or an entire book depends on which textual variants the scholar decides are ‘original’.
* These decisions are sometimes relatively simple to make; but in other instances they are exceedingly difficult, even for scholars who have spent years working on the problem
 * As a result, there are many passages of the New Testament where scholars continue to debate the original wording. And there are some in which we will probably never know what the authors originally wrote.   p 260-261

Here is another telling paragraph, taken from page 216:

...the more I studied, the more I saw that reading a text necessarily involves interpreting a text. I suppose when I started my studies I had a rather unsophisticated view of reading; that the point of reading a text is simply to let the text “speak for itself,” to uncover the meaning inherent in its words. The reality, I came to see, is that meaning is not inherent and texts do not speak for themselves. If texts could speak for themselves, then everyone honestly and openly reading a text would agree on what the text says. But interpretations of texts abound, and people in fact do not agree on what the texts mean. This is obviously true of the texts of scripture; simply look at the hundreds, or even thousands, of ways people interpret the book of Revelation, or consider all the different Christian denominations, filled with intelligent and well-meaning people who base their views of how the church should be organized and function on the Bible, yet all of them coming to radically different conclusions (Baptists, Pentecostals, Presbyterians, Roman Catholics, Appalachian snake-handlers, Greek Orthodox, and on and on).

After reading this book, I am even more grateful that God speaks to man in our day, that we have a living prophet who receives revelation from Him for us.
Mr. Ehrman reaches an interesting, but I feel erroneous, conclusion regarding the corruption of the manuscripts of the Bible which he became aware of in his years of study. He decides that since God did not prevent men from changing the text of scripture down through the ages, then He must not have inspired its writing in the first place.
But God knew that the inspired and sacred writings of his prophets would be tampered with, and He provided the solution. He prepared other books of scripture to reinforce and restore the truth; records that were kept and preserved so we could have the truths originally included in the manuscripts of the books of the Bible. That is the role of the Book of Mormon. This record was prepared and then ‘hidden up unto the Lord’, kept in it’s purity because it was not in circulation among men, and then brought forth in one step of translation in our time. It is a marvelous second witness of the gospel of Jesus Christ which bears witness to it’s readers the plain and precious truths taken from the Bible.

December

What a month it has been. We got ready for Christmas early this year so I could spend some time with Robin, Dennison, Carter, Jude and their new baby girl.
The first week or so of December was filled with 3 concerts at BYU, our BYU ward Christmas dinner, visiting teaching, the 1st Presidency Devotional, baking goodies, wrapping gifts and sending packages. Then I was off to Washington on the 10th.
It was so nice to be in Robin and Dennison’s home, to see them and their boys and new baby girl. I kept pretty busy just keeping up with the boys, they are so much fun. We read lots of stories, played hide-and-seek, put puzzles together, and took lots of pictures. I even stayed for Robin’s birthday; we had Raspberry Ribbon Cheesecake ~ Robin’s favorite, and I watched the latest Twilight movie with them, the only one I’ve seen.
I am so pleased and proud of my sweet daughter and the mom and wife she has become. I am so glad she decided to marry Dennison, he brings out the best in her and they are a great team. They have created a wonderful atmosphere in which to raise their family; a home filled with patience, love, laughter, and joy. It was a privilege to be there, I loved every minute.
It was also nice to get back home; I arrived in SLC at about 9 pm and Dave was waiting at the airport. We woke up the next morning, when I had an 8 o'clock appointment, to 15" of new snow. My Idaho family and friends won't think that is a big deal, but without a snow blower and snow tires it is a bigger deal than we care to deal with very often. After trying to get out of the neighborhood and getting stuck more than once, we just came home and went back to sleep.

Dave on the deck, up to his knees in snow

the yardstick tells the story

The whole week was fun and festive, finishing last minute Christmas projects, delivering goodies, etc. Christmas day was wonderful ~ but quieter than I would choose. We breakfasted with Steve, Krista and Cache, then had dinner with my family that evening.  Dave and I are looking forward to spending this next week together with a few gatherings thrown in; then welcoming the new year with all the new experiences, friends, and opportunities it will bring.

Gratitude

Gratitude seems to be an old fashioned human characteristic, like patience, frugality, and meekness. Thanksgiving day is a good reminder for me to take time regularly to reflect on the many wonderful things I have in my life that I so consistently take for granted.
My list of things I am grateful for includes hot showers, our warm and comfortable home, a reliable car, wholesome food and clean water, my amazing family, and my husband who works hard to provide for us, along with intangibles like the gospel of Jesus Christ, and the freedom provided by our inspired founding documents.
I have been thinking lately about how much of my time and efforts--my resources, are consumed with things that are temporary, things of limited importance. I believe that the abundance we enjoy is a double edged sword, it brings comfort and convenience, but it can also cloud our vision and be a great distraction from things that matter most and last forever.
I have realized that if I focus on the things in my life, my principles and values could be at risk. If I value my comfort, ease and physical well being above all else, then it’s conceivable that I would keep them at the cost of my principles.
It’s not hard to see difficult times ahead for our country, circumstances we would not choose but may be thrust upon us. Those circumstances may place us in a position to make some very telling choices. Will we choose comfort and safety over liberty and the freedom to make our own choices? Will we give up our principles for things?
It’s been said that materialism is what holds our society together, that if our things go away we will turn on each other. Does my love for my fellow man depend on how much stuff I have, how comfortable I am; or have I learned to love as our Savior loves--even when I am inconvenienced, hurt, or suffering?
The more I learn about history, the more I realize that abundance and freedom are the product of correct principles. We cannot have these things if we abandon the principles they are dependent upon.
I will always be grateful for a hot shower and a safe home, but I hope if I ever have to choose between comforts and principles that I will be strong enough to forgo things in favor of eternal truth and freedom.